A good, solid centre back pairing is the bedrock of any decent team. And, getting away with fouls and handballs in the box is also a useful talent to have – just ask Nemanja Vidic or John Terry. Here we celebrate these towering bastions of defensive stability with our Top 10 centre back songs.

1. Keowner of a lonely heart – Yes. Martin Keown was one of the most feared stoppers of his generation, winning 3 league titles and 3 FA cups with Arsenal. Perhaps his most famous moment came against Man Utd at Old Trafford in 2003, when Ruud van Nistelrooy missed that penalty, resulting in this fracas. Prog rockers Yes reached #28 in November 1983 with arguably their best song.
2. Golden Brown – The Stranglers. Wes Brown spent 12 years and 232 games filling in for various superior alternatives at Man Utd before finally departing for Wearside to try and play a bit more regularly. He once had a special solo training session during an England call-up to work on his technique. Golden Brown was The Stranglers highest charting effort, peaking at #2 in January 1982.
3. Love is a Butterfield – Pat Benatar. Obviously he was usually a right-back, but still. Danny “I can’t believe it’s not” Butterfield spent 8 years at Crystal Palace, managing to squeeze in a few months on loan at Charlton in 2009 to oversee their relegation to the third tier. Pat Benatar reached #17 in March 1985 with her new wave call to arms.
4. My old man’s a Distin – Lonnie Donegan and his group. Sylvain Distin was one of the most consistent defenders in the Premier League throughout his 5 years and 206 games for pre-money Manchester City between 2002-2007, while he was ever present in the league for Everton in 2010-11. Lonnie Donegan’s skiffle song, now reworked by fans of many teams to sing about popular players, was a number 1 hit in March 1960.
5. Oops! I Dunne it again – Britney Spears. The Premier League’s all-time top own-goalscorer simply has a habit of being in the right place (for a striker) at the wrong time (for a defender), though let’s be fair to him – he has scored an equal amount at the right end as well – ten of each. Britney Spears may have been not that innocent when she reached #1 in May 2000 with this effort, but she did go that mental a few years ago.
6. Itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot Maldini – Bombalurina. Paolo Maldini is widely regarded as one of the greatest defenders of all time. He made 902 appearance for AC Milan in a 25 year career beginning in 1984, and also played 126 times for Italy over a 15 year period during that time. Timmy Mallett’s Bombalurina musical spin-off spent 3 weeks at #1 in 1990 with this aural travesty.
7. Samba di Janeiro – Bellini. Christopher Samba is quite literally the biggest bloke in the history of the world. A no-nonsense, no-finesse, old-school centre-half, the kind they don’t really make anymore. Bellini’s classic Eurotrance effort reached #7 in 1997.
8. (Don’t fear) the Rieper – Blue Oyster Cult. Marc Rieper is best remembered for his time at West Ham and Celtic (where he won the Scottish Premier Division title) in the mid-90s. A foot injury prevented him from playing again after 1998 and he finally called it a day in 2000. Blue Oyster Cult’s classic riff-laden song reached #16 in May 1978.
9. Stam by your man – Tammy Wynette. Jaap Stam was one of the most feared centre backs in the Premier League before he was mysteriously sold to Lazio in 2001. Fergie allegedly got rid after Stam made some rather candid observations about the club in his autobiography, in which he notoriously described Gary Neville as a “busy c**t.” Tammy Wynette warbled her way to #1 in 1975 with her country & western homage to fidelity.
10. (Feels like) Evans – Fiction Factory. There are a few ways to describe Jonny Evans, but perhaps the most polite way would be “Joker in the pack” after he became a byword for defensive frailty at Man Utd. Fiction Factory made #6 in January 1984 with their only top 40 hit. There are some really excellent haircuts on offer here.